St. Louis Adopt-a-Pet.com Campaign Helps with "Miracle Adoption"!

Adopt-a-Pet.com on Fox2 Morning Show with Tim EzellOn March 23rd, Adopt-a-Pet.com launched the latest in our series of regional pet-adoption -promoting campaigns, this one in St. Louis.  The St. Louis campaign featured billboards starring St. Louis Blues hockey star David Backes and his wife Kelly, and Chicago White Sox pitcher (and St. Louis native) Mark Buehrle and his wife Jamie and a corresponding televised public service announcement.  Check out Adopt-a-Pet.com’s executive director Abbie Moore and Kelly Backes on the FOX morning show with Tim Ezell at http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IErjkqs1qWE


And here’s another great piece of news coverage about the campaign!

Immediately following the campaign launch, we received an email from a wonderful rescuer that brought tears to the eyes of all of us at Adopt-a-Pet.com.  We live for success stories like this! Read the email.

Do you have a Happy Beginnings story you’d like to share? Did Adopt-a-Pet.com match you up with your best friend?  Email us and let us know!

How to Be a Responsible Dog Owner

Before taking on the responsibility of owning a dog, it’s important to recognize that owning a pet is a long-term commitment. Be prepared to dedicate time, finances, and energy, as well as a good amount of patience to your new dog over his or her lifetime. Being a responsible dog owner involves more than providing your pup with basic needs such as food and shelter.  Click here to find out more.

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Should I adopt a cat or a kitten?

British grey kitten (3 months)One of our favorite blog sites, Way of Cats, recently posted a very interesting article comparing the bonding differences between a cat and a kitten. It has some very helpful insights into some differences you might not have thought of or even known about before! If you are looking to adopt a new feline but aren’t sure if an adult cat or a kitten would be better for you and your home, read on to see if the Way of Cats “Bonding Differences: Cat vs. Kitten” may help you make the best decision for your lifestyle and household.

Wya of Cats writes: “I encourage the adoption of adult cats, citing how easy it is because their kitten stage is behind them. I encourage careful kitten raising, because this shapes our future cat relationship. Which is better? Both and neither. So, am I being contradictory, here? Not at all. The goal of a close relationship remains the same. It’s only the paths which differ.”

You can read the rest of Cat vs Kitten on the Way of Cats here.

Stop singing the Housebreaking Blues

puppy-peeAre you at the end of your rope (um, leash?) cleaning up from your new dog’s housebreaking accidents inside? Feel like you’ve tried “everything” and your new furry family member still can’t seem to figure out that going to the bathroom on the rug is fraying your nerves ragged? Not to fear, potty busters are here! We’ve reduced our tips down to our “lucky 7” that we’ve found can do the trick when all else seems to have failed.

This article is not meant to be a comprehensive step-by-step how to housebreak your new dog or puppy article.  For that, we suggest you follow the steps in our Housetraining Your Dog or Puppy article. And if you haven’t tried Crate Training your puppy or dog as a housebreaking method, then you might find that cures your housebreaking blues instantly. But some dogs – especially dogs that spent too much time in a pet store cage, or in a puppy mill where they were confined in a tiny area without ever being let out – those dogs need extra help from us to get their housebreaking back on track.

In our tips below, we call your new puppy or dog “Buddy” to make these tips easier to understand.

Tip #1: Establish a Potty Area. Has Buddy ever gone to the bathroom where you want him to go? More than once? If he has, then that’s your potty area! That is where you should take him every time you want him to go the bathroom.

Tip #2: Establish a Gray Zone. This is an area where it’s OK that Buddy goes to the bathroom, though it may not be where you’d like him to go full-time in the future. Put Buddy in the Gray Zone whenever you aren’t directly supervising him – supervising means EYES ON BUDDY not just in the same room! The location of your Gray Zone depends on your dog’s size, your home, your climate, etc. A bathroom, outdoor dog run, or securely fenced yard are examples. If indoors, ideally use a space you don’t use much — many people use their kitchen, but then expect the dog to magically not go in the kitchen when they are home! A bathroom or other less-used hard-floored room (or safe area outside) is better. Lock the dog out of the Gray Zone when you are home and want them to hold it till you go outside.

Tip #3: Have a Treat pouch. Keep it filled with super high value treats (Buddy’s absolute favorites), and keep it right next to the door. Bring it outside with you every single time you and Buddy go outside, so you’re ready to give him the jackpot reward if he goes! For dog’s that aren’t interested in treats, try human food approved by your vet, such as roasted chicken.

Tip #4: Set your alarm. When you are home and awake, set your alarm and take Buddy to the Potty Area every hour on the hour every hour for 2 minutes. On a leash is better to keep them from thinking its play time, but some dogs are more likely to go when off leash, so follow your dog’s lead. This is not playtime. Just stand there, be boring, mediate for 2 minutes, and if Buddy goes potty, jackpot reward!

Tip #5: Dog diapers. This tends to work better on smaller dogs – but the biggest housebreaking challenges we know of seem to be smaller dogs! Belly bands for boys and diapers for girls can be a permanent, instant solution to a housebreaking problem. They are now found quite easily online and in major pet supply stores like PetSmart.com.

Tip #6: Tethering. Does Buddy only go to the bathroom inside when you’re not watching? Then attach his leash to your belt – yes, you’re now attached at the hip and aside from being best buddies, he can’t sneak off to go to the bathroom out of sight!

Tip#7: Vet check. Have Buddy checked by a vet if its just inappropriate urination in the house. Sometimes a low-grade infection can cause it to be uncomfortable for a dog to hold it. Especially if your dog is a new dog, stress of being in a new home can cause an infection to flare.


Do Bunnies Make Good Easter Gifts?

curiosityBefore you bring home an adorable baby bunny, duck, or chick, a good pet parent will do research into the lifetime of care these pets require. Stuffed toy animals are often the best choice of a holiday gift, but if you’re considering adopting a real-life bunny, Adopt-a-Pet.com Spokesperson and expert on the human-animal bond Dr. Pia Salk has some thoughtful insights after speaking with Cindy Stutts, an educator for the House Rabbit Society, and a bunny parent herself. Below, Pia shares her invaluable advice for anyone considering getting a bunny. If you decide a bunny is the right pet for you and your home, you can find many wonderful rabbits for adoption near you on Adopt-a-Pet.com at www.adoptapet.com/other-pet-adoption#rabbit

Pia writes: “According to Cindy, rabbits are fundamentally different from dogs and cats and therefore require an entirely different care-giving approach. We cannot simply apply what we know about cats and dogs to rabbits.

For one thing, rabbits are prey animals in nature. That means they are more fragile and fearful than dogs or cats, both natural predators. While they can be held and cuddled, bunnies may respond fearfully at first, perhaps with a sudden movement or harmless nip that could startle a small child and result in the bunny being dropped. For that reason, a rabbit may not be an ideal companion animal for kids under five.

Impulse Easter pet purchases result in tragic outcomes for thousands of bunnies (and chicks) each year. The majority of those acquired in this manner ultimately end up injured, neglected, multiplying or relinquished to a shelter. While it is understandable that a doting parent might be tempted by the cute little bunnies that fill pet store windows at Easter, I encourage parents to proceed with caution! It is important to use common sense when an eager salesperson downplays the long-term needs of a companion animal. When it comes to indulging a child (which is not always a bad thing), there’s a big difference between a candy treat and an animal with lifelong needs.

One of the most important and challenging lessons a parent must pass along are the benefits of making informed decisions rather than impulsive choices. But children learn exactly the opposite when well-meaning parents return home from the pet store with a fragile, un-altered bunny and little information on his/her proper care.

Thankfully, bunny whisperer Cindy Stutts offers up many ways to indulge a child’s affinity for bunnies while avoiding the pitfalls of impulsive pet-store purchases that are harmful to bunnies and families. Here are a few alternatives she suggests:

  • Give a shelter gift certificate. It is never a good idea to give any animal as a surprise gift. But a gift certificate that covers an adoption fee is a great way to preserve the element of surprise while also allowing time to make an informed choice. The family can visit the shelter together and become educated on care needs while also getting assistance in choosing an animal that’s right for them.
  • Foster a rabbit or bonded pair for a shelter or rescue.
  • Buy a toy stuffed rabbit – some rescues sell them to help raise  funds for bunnies in need.
  • Check with bunny rescues to inquire about events where kids can visit and pet the bunnies.
  • Sponsor a bunny awaiting a forever home.
  • Sponsor a sick or injured rabbit who needs help to recover and heal.

So here’s to a Happy Easter, a Happy Passover and a peaceful spring for everyone — especially the bunnies, chicks and humans who love them!

In kinship,
Dr. Pia Salk

Click Here for Pia’s article on MarthaStewart.com with BUNNY PHOTOS! 

Adopt&Shop – shelter pets in a mall near you!

Picture 4What a great idea: shelter pets for adoption, in a mall near you! What potential pet owner wouldn’t like a bright, fun, one-stop-shop conveniently located in their local mall, with helpful pet adoption counselors, adorable adoptable pets, and all the supplies you could need? With a grand opening scheduled this month, Found Animals and the Southeast Area Animal Control Authority in Downey have partnered with the ultimate goal to “increase the adoptions of shelter animals as well as improve the public’s perception of shelter adoptions. By highlighting the animals in a high-traffic, retail setting, we will reach that population who may not visit the shelter to find their next pet.” We spoke to Found Animals adoption staff (Director, Molly Stretten and Program Manager, Becky Haas) and found out lots for you about Adopt&Shop… read on to find out what they had to say!

Adopt & Shop
353 Lakewood Center Mall
Lakewood, CA 90712
(Near Costco, on the south side of the mall.)
Open Tuesdays through Sundays from noon to 6 p.m.

Official Grand Opening: April 30, 2011 – 10 a.m. to 4 p.m.
Featuring $5 pet microchips, pet information,
and fun activities for the whole family!

Retail locations have been used by other organizations before, but sadly successes we know of have been far and few between. (For one success story, stay tuned for our upcoming interview and article with the wonderful Sante D’Or foundation and their cat sanctuary and adoption center located in a retail storefront.) However with Adopt&Shop’s innovative partnership and design, we’re hopefully they represent the start of a new wave of Adopt&Shop-like establishments spreading pet adoptions to malls across North America!

What is the goal of Adopt&Shop?
The ultimate goal is to increase the adoptions of shelter animals as well as improve the public’s perception of shelter adoptions, hence contributing to the overall mission of Found Animals – to decrease euthanasia of shelter animals. By highlighting the animals in a high-traffic, retail setting, we will reach that population who may not visit the shelter to find their next pet. Due to negative perceptions of animal shelters (noisy, sad, deplorable conditions, ‘broken’ pets), only 18 percent of pets are adopted from shelters.  We have a goal to facilitate at least 600 adoptions in 2011.

How did you come up with the idea for Adopt&Shop?
Dr. Gary Michelson, founder of Found Animals, has always wanted to bring the animals to the people, and envisioned replacing the older puppy store model (with animals from breeders and/or puppy mills) and replace it with a rescue model (with all animals from local shelters). Dr. Michelson and the Found Animals Foundation are determined to make a difference by using business principals to solve the problems of pet overpopulation and the resulting shelter euthanasia. The retail adoption center is essentially a pet store but with pets coming from the SEAACA shelter in Downey.

What’s it like inside?
Adopt & Shop is a fun and welcoming environment designed with the animal’s (and people’s!) comfort in mind. The 1,084 sq. ft. store will feature pets for adoption as well as carry all of the basic supplies needed for a new pet including food, collars and leashes, ID tags, bowls, litter boxes and kitty litter, al competitively-priced with the larger pet supply retailers in the area. Approximately 500 sq. ft. will be devoted to housing 10 dogs and 10 cats at any given time. More unique items such as eco-friendly toys and bedding will also be for sale. There will be luxury kennels for dogs, beautiful play areas for cats, and space to visit with a pet during the adoption process. Additionally, there will be an iPad kiosk on-site to showcase the free Found Animals 24/7 online pet care tools as well as pets available for adoption through other local shelters.

How many paid staff & volunteers are in the store daily?
At least two staff will be in the store at all time, along with several volunteers.

How do adoptions happen from the store?
The application process at Adopt & Shop focuses on the conversation between our highly-trained adoption counselors and the interested adopters. The conversation is driven by specific questions about the person’s previous pet experience, lifestyle, and desires for a new pet, but the adoption does not depend on the specific answer they write on an application. The staff at Adopt & Shop bring many years of experience from different shelters, rescues and humane organizations, and the adoption process has been developed using the aspects that we feel best predict the success of the adoption (for the animal and the person).

How long are the pets left alone when the store is closed?
The pets are left alone overnight, and we take great precautions to make sure that they are relaxed, comfortable, and entertained during the off-hours. Although it is not ideal to leave an animal alone all night long-term, we feel that it is an acceptable short-term solution while the animals are looking for their forever home!

When did it open?
Adopt & Shop launched on Tuesday, April 12, 2011. An official grand opening event is set for Saturday, April 30 from 10 a.m. to 4 p.m. During the grand opening event, a pet fair will take place featuring $5 pet microchips, pet information and fun activities for the whole family.

Where do the pets come from?
All of the pets will come from one of Found Animals’ shelter partners, the Southeast Area Animal Control Authority (SEAACA) in Downey, CA.

Did you have a volunteer or staff with retail experience that planned the design of the store, and the business plan for it?
Yes, although it was also a huge collaboration! The key to any non-profit opening an adoption center is to utilize the skills their staff and volunteers have to offer – and they do have a lot to offer!

How did you find the location?
We decided to focus in the direct vicinity of SEAACA in order to ensure the smoothest transition of animals from the shelter to Adopt & Shop. The exact location was stumbled upon while visiting the various malls and shopping centers in those cities, and it seemed like the perfect fit!

DrsFosterSmith.com Gives Back

pawscause-register-2DrsFosterSmith.com wants to help homeless pets!  They offer a “Paws for a Cause” program, which encourages site visitors to donate products to animal shelters, and they make it easy to do so.  All shelters are eligible to participate in this program.  Plus they offer a 10% discount for rescue groups and shelters because they’re committed to supporting the great work they do.

In order to encourage adoption retention, DrsFosterSmith.com publishes educational articles on PetEducation.com for all types of animals so that you can learn more about their pets and provide maximum care.  They’ve also posted an Adopt-a-Pet.com pet search widget on their site, giving homeless animals even more exposure!

We thank DrsFosterSmith.com for supporting pet adoption!

Cat Scratching: Train A Cat Not To Scratch

Wondering how to get your new cat to stop scratching? Discover effective strategies to redirect their natural scratching behavior.

pPETS-3759229r200Cats have a natural need to scratch. It stretches their muscles, marks their territory, reduces stress, and removes dead layers of their nails. If you don’t provide your cat with desirable scratching surfaces and, if needed, train them to scratch where you want, they may choose to scratch the corner of your couch instead! Cats and kittens of all ages can be trained to scratch where you want, some more easily than others. Each cat’s environment and past experiences play a role in how quickly they can be trained. Here are some suggested steps to train your cat to scratch where you want:

1. Prepare your home

During training, remove access to or cover appealing surfaces where you don’t want your cats to scratch. Cats often like rough fabric. For example, if your cat is going after your recliner or couch, cover furniture with a smooth sheet or blanket, or apply double-sided sticky tape (spot test a small non-visible area first) or tin foil wrap. Cats don’t like slippery or sticky surfaces. If they are scratching the wall-to-wall carpet, cover where they are scratching with a plastic carpet runner or put a piece of furniture on top of the spot. Some household items are just too tempting for a cat. You wouldn’t leave a hamburger out in the middle of your living room floor and expect a dog not to eat it! You may need to donate your wicker hamper to a charity, or put it in the closet with the door closed.

2. Supply scratching posts

Buy or build two or more different types of scratching posts. Posts should be sturdy and tall enough to allow the cat to completely stretch – ideally 3 feet or taller. A bark-covered log, a post covered with sisal, or a burlap-covered box, or there are countless cardboard or sisal scratchers in pet retail stores. You can find a great selection of cat scratchers at Chewy. Soft carpeting will not typically satisfy a cat’s need to scratch. Soft, fluffy, carpeted scratching posts rarely work, and may be one of the main causes of declawing – which is painful, inhumane, and can cause other behavior issues – because cats often don’t like the posts. Every cat is different, so if your cat ignores one post, try another material and location.

3. Scratching post locations

Place one scratching post where the cat is already clawing or likely to claw, such as the side of the couch, and another close to where he or she normally sleeps. Cats like to stretch and scratch when they first wake up. Another option is the cardboard or sisal “scratching box,” which lies flat on the floor. These are inexpensive and small enough to scatter around the house, allowing your cat easy access to an “approved” scratching spot at all times. They can wear out fairly quickly if you have an avid scratcher, and need to be replaced when too worn down — otherwise, cats may revert back to using furniture.

4. Training

Next, give your cat specific instructions as to where to claw and where not to claw. Invite your cat to investigate the new scratching post and scratch it yourself to make a scratching noise. Baby kittens you can gently hold and move their paws in a scratching motion on the post. This will scent the posts and encourage exploratory clawing. Make the post a “fun” place to be. Play games with your cat on and around the post and attach hanging strings, balls and/or bouncy wire toys to it. For adult cats, you can try sprinkling catnip on the post, too. A once-a-week or so “refresher” application will keep your cat interested. Raise with praise! When kitty uses the post, reinforce her good behavior with verbal praise.

5. No punishment

When the cat claws furniture or another undesired surface, never punish cats with physical force or a loud voice. You can say “no” if it makes you feel better, and gently move or lure them to a scratching post.

As a last resort, some behaviorists say you can calmly mist room-temperature water from a spray bottle directed next to the cat, one misting spray not a stream and not multiple ones. NEVER spray the cat. The spray sound is like a cat hiss and most cats don’t like water spray. We don’t recommend this as in our experience, it makes the cat afraid of you. Also, most cats quickly figure out if you’re not standing there with the spray bottle, there’s no spray and they will scratch away! Instead, consider one or more motion-activated pet deterrent spray cans like this.

6. Nail caps like Soft Paws

Nail caps are soft vinyl nail caps that are applied to cats’ newly trimmed nails. The nail caps allow cats to scratch naturally, without harming furniture. Each application lasts about four to six weeks. Some cats take a while to get used to them, but most cat don’t seem to notice they are on. You can use the clear kind, or have fun with colors! Nail caps are only for cats that never go outside. Nail caps for cats are available at most pet supply stores and online here.

Our final tips

Supervision and repetition are key. Supervise your cat so you can praise her when she uses the scratching post, and deter her if she starts scratching something she shouldn’t. Repeat as often as possible! This is the most reliable way we know to train your cat to scratch where you want.

20 Ways To Be a Better Pet Parent

blue-ribbonThis wonderful list was written by one of our favorite veterinarians, Dr. Liz. She’s been a vet in Southern California for over 13 years, helping not only loving pet owners take the best care of their pets possible, but many rescue organizations and the local shelters as well, performing surgeries to help save homeless pets lives. She has aspired to be a veterinarian since age 3, and feels very lucky to be doing what she was born to do: helping and healing animals! She put together these 20 pearls of wisdom to help all pet owners be a better pet parent, and we’re lucky to get to share it with you here!

1. Get annual exams for your pet by a veterinarian.
2. Spay or neuter your pet.
3. Get Pet Insurance.
4. Microchip your pet.
5. Use monthly flea control.
6. For pets over the age of 5, do annual blood testing, blood pressure, and EKG’s.
7. Be aware of heartworm disease.
8. Keep your pet at his or her ideal weight.
9. Check your pet annually for intestinal parasites.
10. Research the veterinary hospital you choose. Look for those that are AHAA certified.
11. Vaccinate your dog with the rattlesnake vaccine if there may be exposure to rattlesnakes.
12. Brush your pets’ teeth.
13. Feed high-quality pet food; avoid byproducts.
14. Know what foods are toxic to your pet, such as: grapes and raisins, chocolate, onions, gum containing xylitol.
15. Avoid table scraps containing lots of fat, spices, or bones.
16. Outside your home, keep your dog leashed at all times (especially smaller dogs because of coyotes).
17. Exercise your pet daily.
18. Watch for hazards in your home: place a fence around your pool, cover electrical cords, etc.
19. Vaccinate your pet depending on his or her lifestyle. Beware of over-vaccinating.
20. Do not smoke in your home or around your pet.

Bite Inhibition: How To Teach A Puppy Not To Bite

Is your new pup biting everything? Learn effective ways to curb this behavior and teach bite inhibition.

puppy-biteA puppy biting your hand or using your pant cuff as a chew toy  – cute? Not so fast! Teaching a puppy what is OK to bite when they are young is the single most important item for any pup. Mouthing and biting is a normal part of being a puppy, but how cute will that be when they bite your hand – or a child’s hand – when they are an adult dog? Damaging dog bites are not cute!  Puppies must be taught by people to control the force of their biting behavior so that they learn to have a soft mouth if they do accidentally grab onto a human (instead of a toy or food being offered). Then they should be taught to reduce the frequency of puppy mouthing, so that as an adolescent and adult dog they will not harm a person they are playing with  – or their clothing!

The program outlined below is best for puppies who are up to about 18 weeks, while they still have their baby teeth, who have not yet learned to control their playful biting. If your puppy is under 6 months and not biting too hard (already has some self-taught bite inhibition), it can still be used – but for dogs older than 6 months that are play biting you, please consult a professional dog trainer.

For this program, it is important that EVERYONE who interacts with your dog, (e.g. everyone in your household and any visitors) follows the same rules. Children should be closely supervised to ensure that they are following the rules, too!

This puppy program is broken down into three steps, to be followed in order:

  1. No painful bites
  2. No pressure with teeth
  3. No mouthing at all

Puppies normally develop bite inhibition through interaction with their litter mates. When a puppy bites another puppy too hard, the second puppy will yelp and discontinue playing. In this way the first puppy learns not to bite so hard. This technique has you take the place of littermates, and teach in much the same way.

1. No painful bites.
In the same way you as humans must act like fellow littermate and let your dog know when he has bitten you too hard. In the first phase of training, if the puppy puts his mouth and/or teeth on you and doesn’t bite down, you can immediately redirect their mouth on to a toy and praise. BUT if the puppy uses pressure (they usually will at some point, they are testing everything out when they are young) so that you are feeling a pinch or more: yelp like a puppy just enough so your puppy notices – and then walk away and ignore him for about a minute.

Dogs vary in their sensitivity, so it is important that your yelp volume and intensity is appropriate for your particular puppy. If when you yelp your pup doesn’t seem to notice, or immediately comes back to bite you again, then next time try a louder yelp and move away more quickly. Similarly, make sure that you do not startle your puppy too much. If your pup cowers or runs away tail tucked between his legs when you yelp, then you are most likely yelping too loudly; next time try a quieter yelp. When you return after the minute of ignoring them, make sure you have a toy ready so they can bite the toy, which is good! Reward that good behavior with lots of attention and praise.

NOTE: Ignoring means no looking at your dog, no speaking to your dog and no touching your dog! If necessary you can leave the room for that minute (a ‘time out’) so that he has no chance of play-biting you while you are ignoring him.

It may be tempting to say an angry “no” and/or push the puppy away. However, this is giving them attention – even if it is “negative” attention. Attention is a reward! You don’t want to reward the undesired behavior.

2. No teeth on you.
Once your dog has learned that painful bites are unacceptable and has stopped doing them, you can progress to teaching that any pressure of his teeth against your skin is unacceptable. At this point, the yelp is NOT appropriate. If the puppy puts his mouth on you with no teeth pressure, either redirect onto a toy immediately, or (better) get up and away from puppy to ignore for 30 seconds, then return with toy to play again.

3. No mouth on you at all.
Once your dog has learned that he should not put his teeth on you, you can progress to training your dog that any mouthing of you or your clothing is unacceptable by stopping the game or attention when he mouths you.

Depending on the age and temperament of your puppy, the time it takes to reach step three will vary from a week or two to a few months. Here are some guidelines to help speed the process along:

  • Never hit your dog (his nose or any other part of him) in response to his mouthing or play biting! Not only is this unnecessary but also it will likely encourage him to continue biting you, either in play or in self-defense.
  • Do not forget to provide appropriate chew toys and bones for your dog and praise him for chewing on these. In this way your dog will learn not only what is UNACCEPTABLE but also what is ACCEPTABLE in terms of using his mouth.
  • You may find it helpful to use a taste deterrent (available from pet shops) on your hands or clothing while you are going through this program. First make sure that the product is actually distasteful to your dog (some dogs like the taste of taste deterrents).
  • Make sure your puppy is getting sufficient exercise both mental and physical. Play biting can be a result of being bored and having pent up energy.
Once your dog has successfully completed all stages of bite inhibition you will want ensure that your dog continues to have good bite inhibition throughout life. Therefore it is a good idea to handle his mouth daily (open it and touch his teeth and tongue) – easy to do if you are brushing their teeth daily, a great habit – and reward him or her for being gentle with praise and affection.

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